The Forgotten

I'm going to tell you a story about a young girl who loved to do many different things. She loved to sing, loved to dance, and  loved to be actively involved in things. Then she grew up and as she grew up people started to pick on her because she was different. Not only was she different in her appearance but she was also different in her lifestyle. She began to listen to those people who called her "too big" and "ugly" and "weird". She lost who she was within each harsh word. Then the ignoring began. She was never picked to be on the teams. Nor was she asked to go to birthday parties and things of that sort. Everyone knew her as the good, sweet girl but no one really knew her. Yes, she had friends but no one really seemed to understand or stay for the long run. Those who understood would abandon her and she'd feel alone once again. Those who came into her inner circle would take advantage of her kindness and use it against her. This young girl grew up to become a young woman who came to know and love the Lord but she carried some of the hurts from her past.

That young girl was me...

You see I haven't always had a low self esteem problem. I was young and wanted to do many things but I was never apart of the crowd that I thought I wanted to be a part of. I wanted people to see that I was just as good as everyone else. I was always crying out for someone to notice that I was hear and that I was just as awesome as the other kid. Did I have family support? Yes, but somehow in my mind I thought "that's what they are suppose to do". 

I've always felt forgotten or overlooked in my lifetime. No matter how loudly I spoke, I wasn't heard. No matter how much I loved, I wasn't loved back. No matter how or what I gave, I wasn't given anything back. I was incomplete and always felt alone and abandoned. Although that was my life Pre-Christ, sometimes I still struggle with that.

It came to my attention the other day that I was a social butterfly. I was like what? Me? (I'm horrible at accepting complements. I don't know how to just say thank you most times but anyways...) I thought for a moment and began to compare myself and say I don't measure up because x,y,z. Why was I thinking that? I am a new creature in Christ! I am royalty yet, I fail to take complements without saying "I could be.." or "I honestly wish...". I say those things because I often feel overlooked or forgotten by those who claim to care so much or those who I care so much about.

But then I remembered that I'm not on this earth for people to know me and know who I am and what I'm about. I'm here to live my life for God and so that HE can be famous.

Many things raced through my mind earlier as I thought about why those thoughts come to mind. Why do I often think that no one cares and that I'm alone in this thing? Why do I feel like no one likes me? It's because I haven't fully let God fill me up and complete me. It's also because of fear. Afraid to be vulnerable with others who can potentially hurt me because they, like me, are only human. Even though Christ is in my heart and I rep Him to the fullest (okay maybe that's a little prideful lol)  but there are still areas that I'm just like "well God I don't qualify" or "you sure you want me to do it" or  "God I just got saved I'm not ready yet" ALL THESE EXCUSES!!! I had forgotten that I am chosen. I had forgotten that I am a royal priesthood. So what if I mess up?! So what if I'm not "strong" in that area. God's strength is made perfect in my weakness! I had missed that whole point of God and that was He takes the unqualified to do mighty things! Moses and David are perfect examples! God shaped and molded them. They didn't come out the womb all made up. God had to shape and form them with experience.

So I am humble myself and say God use me. No matter how uncomfortable it makes me.

I say all this to say that you are not forgotten my sister, my brother. I speak life into those places that you deem dead. God has a plan for you. You don't have to be perfect. Don't you ever think that you are overlooked. Man makes mistakes but God sees you! GOD SEES YOU! He knows how many hairs on you head. He knows what you're going to say before you say it. He knows what makes you laugh and cry, He knows!! He saw you when He was forming the world! He knew all that you would be and He understands you. Jesus knows. So rest and have faith. God has you!

This is my theme for the summer: I'm Walking On Water (Inspired by the link below)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BeTu8twnGvU